I. AM. STRESSED. (Stream-of-conscious-style)

I have, in the past two weeks:

--had the stomach flu and was out two days and felt sicker than I have in 15 years

--missed another three days of class b/c of, as you know, this ridiculous weather that gets me out of my routine, and screws up stuff even more

--had a record 387 texts from students about misc. assignments, etc. (even while I was sick; I know they love me, but REALLY??? a little rest, please!!)

--helped 14 past students/now college kids w/papers ranging from 3-5pg upper-level U.S. history article summaries, literary analysis take-home exam essays, proofreading comparison papers, movie review summaries, etc. etc....

--received over 319 emails related to either school stuff and/or help w/class assignments/tutoring at my 2nd job at MEC

--been worried about Jon/money issues at home b/c his job is really NOT in good shape right now...it's looking grim, for real, and our bills just don't wanna go away...ha...and we still keep paying on time, no matter what, just making it...makes me SO ANGRY at those people out there who get a free ride b/c they just throw it all away and declare bankruptcy and everyone just rushes to help them out w/foreclosures and stuff...just swell :/

--been worried about not teaching my Advanced Placement Language class next year; the one I fought to get to teach in the first place; we may even have more cuts here next year, including 3-5% pay cuts and 3-4 more furlough days...way to stand up for the importance of EDUCATION!

--found out after I finished my taxes this wkend that we made $8,000 less this year than last...that's A LOT of money and we are feeling it in so many areas

--helped 55 seniors during EVERY free moment I have on their senior research papers which we have been working on for 25 WEEKS; I have conferences scheduled, literally, before school, during my planning, during lunch (heck, I haven't taken a lunch break in, like, 3 months, and after school.

--worked at MEC til 10:30 two nights in a row, tutoring in US history and Brit. lit.

--still not even looked at the 135 papers I have to grade from as far back as 3 months ago.

--just finished spending a wasted hour and twenty minutes in the computer lab here with the honors freshmen who were going to take an EOCT test prep, BUT NO!!!! The internet proceeded to "load" nothing for 45 minutes. REALLY???

And the list goes on. I really could add to this but that's not the point. Sometimes I hafta get it off my chest. I write; that's what I do. I know everyone has stress, and it's not fair for me to sit here and scream about it, but I just sometimes find it hard to reconcile what I do, my love for what I do and why I do it, w/all the "stuff" that happens to make it so difficult at times. I know God is trying to teach me patience, but jeez, this has been AWFUL! Or maybe it's just my reaction to it all. I feel a lot of my OCD behaviors slowly creeping back into my life.

I just don't know how else to do things other than the way I've always done them; on purpose, passionately, with drive. I'm too much of a perfectionist, I know, but hey; we're dealing with training future leaders here, so I want to make it all WORTH IT.

I guess I need to--as Queen Elizabeth II said during WWII-- "KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON."

Now for AP, the saving grace of the day............