To err is human...a rant on the paradoxes of public education

First and foremost, BRAVO to my little brother for successfully getting the Mustang impounded this weekend. Yeah! Yep, I heard all about that fiasco already, and don't worry, your secret's safe with me! :p

Second, Jenette, THANKS for that beautiful post on the responsibilities and power struggles associated with effectivelty raising kids today. Well said...

Now, let me be honest: this year has been my "burnout' year as an educator. I've heard tales of this syndrome from others for a while now, but I never honestly thought it would happen to me. But, here I stand, in my sixth year of education, and I am just that: BURNT OUT. Does that mean I'm going to quit my adventures in the topsy-turvy world of public education? By all means, NO! My frame of mind may be due to the fact that I 1) "gave up" planning this year and stay til about 6 pm every day, 2) am ready to give this senior class their "bon voyage" because I've been with them for SIX YEARS and know them way, way too well, or 3) am simply tired of freshmen (already remedied that; I'm teaching seniors next year...)

Soooo, I've thought a lot lately about what I am doing in that classroom every day--affecting lives, shaping curriculum, molding the human thought process--for a group of kids with so much already on their plate. No, I cannot change what happens in students' homes each and every day/night; no, I cannot control and/or transform their jobs, their frustrations, their motivations. BUT, I can try to help them see how education can help transform their futures into something better, something worthwhile, something dynamic, something GENUINE. It makes me really sad, some of the situations I see on a day to day basis (hence, another possible reason for my burnout).

What am I to do with this sadness I tend to "butt heads with" on a day-to-day basis? Here's a quote. And an application. (Get used to it. This is how I teach, as well. Metaphors, allusions, and analogies masquerade as the greatest teaching tools in the world.)

"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlyn, “…is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails.” --from The Once and Future King

As I said in my first EXTREMELY POSITIVE BLOG, (:)) I am an idealist at heart. I like to believe in the good in people, to believe that we are all capable of making a positive impact on society; I love the old cliché that says, “It only takes one person to change the world.” (Alas, though, that thought seems more distant with each passing day...) So, like Merlyn tells King Arthur in the quote above, I believe that learning is something that all are capable of, something that never fails. But, as the viscious cycle rears its ugly head again, my adventures in the art of teaching, have somewhat indoctrinated me, for lack of a better term, into the unfortunately harsh realities and paradoxes of our world. What follows here are some conversational examples, followed by the realistic answers we should be ready to fire back with today (sans hurting some kid's already over-inflated self-image):

"You can be anything you want to be!" (Stop reinforcing false hopes in these kids! Achieving success involves hard work.)
"No, you can redo this and not get a zero." (Stop teaching kids it's NOT OK to fail; because IT IS!)
"You made a mistake...but it's ok. You can continue your absurd behavior." (Stop playing Russian roulette with your life and GROW UP.)
"You failed me in your class, Mrs. Krieger. That's not fair." (Take responsibility for your own education. Oh, and LIFE ISN'T FAIR!!!!)

See what I mean? Backwards logic. There's nothing logical about the relativism and feel-good-coddling-post-modernist education bull crap we wallow in today. These kids' sense of entitlement is messed up enough as it is.

Also, I love teaching literature; however, I am not naive enough to ever believe that every student who crosses my classroom's threshhold will absolutely fall in LOVE and sell out to Shakespeare. And, concerning my own failures as an educator, one of my favorite quotes in an educational "inspiration" book (you know, the ones they force you to read for your graduate degree) says,

"I am a teacher at heart, and there are moments in the classroom when I can hardly hold the joy….But at other moments, the classroom is so lifeless or painful or confused—and I am so powerless to do anything about it—that my claim to be a teacher seems a transparent sham. What a fool I was to imagine that I had mastered this occult art—harder to divine than tea leaves and impossible for mortals to do even passably well!"

I LOVE THAT.

So, in the end, who am I and why am I? Without using a lot of philosphical, educational jargon (which I loathe), as a teacher, I am a mixture of many modes of thinking about the aims, methods, and curriculum of education, the many experiences, both positive and negative, of my career; and no doubt my mantra will be molded into one that is less divided as I continue teaching. No grand epiphonies or moments of clarity here; I'm just expressing the same frustrations and asking the timeless questions we all ask in defiance of our evermore strange and bittersweet capitalistic society. Just like Merlyn in The Once and Future King, though, I firmly believe the mission of education is to learn and my job is to teach from the heart so that my students know that learning is the weapon; “the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.”

In the meantime, though, I will continue down the road toward that "just out of reach" idyllic view of our world, toward the old cliché of “It only takes on person to change the world’—I just may have to be satisfied that good results may only come one person—one student, one life-long learner—at a time. So help me God.