THE FIRST OFFICIAL SOAPBOX

Well, well. Here I am. My students have asked me many times over the past year, "Krieger, why don't you have a MySpace page?" Huh. As if. I can't even IMAGINE the liability that could be involved with a HIGH SCHOOL teacher posting her face all over MySpace. The kids already know too much about me as it is. What I post here is probably nothing new to most of them. They hear me yacking about my life every day.

So why, I ask myself, am I now "breaking the proverbial rule" of professional privacy (for lack of a better term) and putting myself and my innermost thoughts on the web for the whole world to potentially see??? Let's see...have you ever had one of those weeks where it seems that every stupid person on the face of the planet, just perchance, seemed to travel your way? Alas, that's exactly what happened to me this past week. And for that reason, I have decided that I need an outlet for my own frustration with all the stupid people in the world. Hence this blog.

Granted, I am an optimist at heart, and I really, really HATE complainers. Yes, I know, shame on me. "Hate" is such a strong word. However, I created this blog so I could express my thoughts, and since thoughts are one of the most powerful human capacities in the world, I might as well be honest.

Back to the point. I hate complainers. But brace yourselves. This blog is FULL OF MY DEEPEST COMPLAINTS. Being around complainers and naysayers all week has turned me into my deepest enemy. See what you've done, stupid people??? Thanks a freakin lot! No really, I think I have just reached a point at which I must get all this off my chest. So, fair warning: for a first post, this is not a characteristically happy one. BEWARE: BLOG FULL OF DEEP SARCASM, APATHY, AND FREQUENT CURSING. So there, you've had your warning. I suspect this will be the only one where I am this negative. But this has to be. I feel it coming and I have to let it out. (Remember Linda Blair's projectile vomiting in The Exorcist? That's what the negative thoughts spewing forth in this blog remind me of. Sorry. I think in terms of odd metaphors and analogies.) And if it's funny, that's great, too. For what else can we do in times of frustration? We might as well laugh about it, or then we really could go postal.

Oh, and one more thing before I take the plunge. Thanks to Jenette, my sis-in-law, who is a blogger as well. I've been reading hers lately, and they are delightful, I must say. Her thoughts have inspired me. I hope as a newbie to this I can find the time to continue posting, but yet not let it consume my life, for it was Emerson that said, "Man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can leave alone." So. True.

Soo...
What do I hate in life? Let me count the things... (Shakespeare: turning over in his grave as we speak)

I hate it when people are jealous. Recently Jon (my hubby) and I were blessed enough to be able to buy a new house with a wonderful mountain view and plenty of space for "whatever" the future may bring. We love it, and because of many "things" that have happened in the past with our relationship, we felt this move was the right thing to do. We are happy. I grew up in a double-wide and my grandmother's 700 sq. ft. house, so I've always dreamt of having a big house. Nothing wrong with that. However, Jon and I have friends that I would really like to do more stuff with, but they will not come over. Always an excuse. I even heard that one of them had made the comment that our house is "overkill." That's uncalled for. I've almost given up, because I'd rather avoid someone than be around them if they make me feel bad. Plus, it's not like we bought this house to make anyone "jealous." That's ridiculous. In fact, the couple whom I speak of spend almost as much per month in CAR payments as we do on our new mortgage. I could say more about that...but it just gets me that people sometimes want what you have, but instead of showing that, they internalize those feelings through avoidance and silence. Me, on the other hand, I've decided to "turn over a new leaf" and try once more to invite them over. We'll see where it goes from there...

I hate it when people ask "So, when are you and Jon going to have kids?" This gets worse as the years go on. I'm 28, Jon's 31. Why, oh why, are people here so fixated on being in a hurry for us to have kids???? I have a 16-year-old in my 10th grade class who is pregnant, and it's hard enough for me to imagine HER being a mother, much less myself!!! I know tradionally in this community couples have children younger than most Northern communities (we have friends that lived in Maryland for two years and there people weren't starting to have kids till their mid 30s), but please! When (AND---gasp!---IF) we decide to have kids, I'll send around a news flash. Hell, I'll write it in the sky if I need to. This frustrates me so.

I HATE HATE HATE it when parents take no responsibility and/or issue no discipline for their child's behavior. We'll call this "Parent A," for name sake. Walking into a parent conference and making connections about who a student is related to (brothers, sisters, mom, dad, etc.) offers a moment of perfect clarity for a teacher. It's like, "Oh, well, that explains it all." However, in NO WAY, does familial relation excuse kids from being held responsible for their behavior. I've been in conferences NUMEROUS times in the past 6 years where the kid yells or speaks disrespectfully to mom, and I'm thinking, "No WONDER this kid is a little s**t! Look at the way you let her talk to you!" I would be on the floor if I ever talked to ANY of my family that way. Oh, and my favorite of all time: parent slides back from the table, throws hands in the air, and says, "I don't know what to do with (insert name here). I just can't handle him/her anymore." hmmm....I KNOW some things parents could do, but they wouldn't be appropriate to post here. This attitude of futility parents feel with their kids is fascinating to me. However, I am a firm believer that there are some people who should never procreate. Maybe they've just realized this a little too late. LOL. Teaching, and particularly parent conferences, have been great forms of birth control for me, you know.

I HATE it when overbearing parents ("Parent B") ground their kids for making an 89.98 in my honors English class instead of the "expected" 'A.' Good Heavens. Unlike the scenario above--portraying the "slacker" parent--this is the scenario with the "obsessive" parent. I always hear, "Well, he always made A's in middle school." Laughable. I can't even begin to highlight the differences between the middle school and high school curriculum and study habits, in general. And I don't mean that negatively toward middle school teachers, either. Believe me, I taught at the middle school level. It's just the level of critical thinking and work from middle to high school expectations is like comparing apples to oranges. And consider the "nature of the beast" in a adolescent, hormonal, drama-driven, hyperactive middle schooler. Ninth grade is a HUGE transition for them (which is why I think we need a 9th grade academy, but don't get me started, that's a whole 'nother post). THEN, add the honors expectations to that and the stakes are even higher. Most of my class of 28 have 'B's right now, AS THEY SHOULD. Anyway, this poor girl texts me this weekend, asking if I offer extra credit. Apparantly, her mom is ragging her over her 89.98. AND she's still #5 on my Top 5 list. What am I saying? I don't know, I guess that there has to be some happy medium for these parents and their unrealistic expectations of their kids. Someone please slap me if I ever turn out like a carbon copy of Parent A or B.

I HATE food snobs. I love the Food Network (I'm watching Sandra Lee and the rest of the Sunday morning lineup right now), but I just can't stand it when they make you feel guilty about the food you eat, the way you cook it, or the ingredients you use. I know, this one doesn't seem to fit into the other blurbs so far, but the fact that I've been brooding all week was not helped by some of the food snobs I watched on the Food Network. I guess they were all just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Like Giada, for instance. Food snob. Italian. Beautiful and skinny. Who cooks in the clothes she wears???? And Ina Garten. OMG. She's the worst of all. If I hear her tell me one more time that I need to make my own chicken broth instead of buying it canned...Oh, and does anyone else besides me want to throw something at the TV when Rachel Ray is on? HOW is she always so freakin peppy? Dunzo! Yummo! E.V.O.O.! Shoot me!

I hate that, in the push for testing and standards, we have forgotten about learning for learning's sake. I ask myself every week, "What happened to teaching?" Case in point. Our school did not meet AYP last year b/c of our "socioeconomically disadvantaged" subgroup's score on the "enhanced" math questions portion of the Georgia High School Graduation Test (got that??). To make a long story short, our school has been focused almost solely this year on school improvement plans that are designed to raise our test scores. So, in order to improve our scores in every area, we have introduced this year a program called "The Blitz." Students at risk for failing one of the four subject areas of the GHSGT (math, science, social studies, lang. arts) have been identified and targeted to attend a two week "Blitz" on testing skills immediatly preceeding the test the last week of March. The catch? Teachers are being pulled out of the classes they teach in order to "teach" this Blitz. As if we don't have enough interruptions to academic time as it is. (I threw my phone in the floor the other day after it rang FOUR times in one period.) Tell me the logic behind taking an 11th grade lit. teacher out of her 11th grade lit. class in order to teach 11th grade lit. to another group of 11th graders??? Can you tell me? Didn't think so. Despite that, we're doing this every day, EVERY PERIOD for the next two weeks. Kids are being pulled from classes, and some are attending sessions all four periods per day for the whole two weeks. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't our education research say that cramming is counter-productive? I'll leave that one alone before I get myself in trouble...we better freakin meet AYP after all this!

I hate that kids these days listen to sucky music..and even worse, that they cannot identify good, solid, foundational music. We just finished a unit on Arthurian legends in my 10th lit. class, and after talking about the history of the Britons and how the warring Saxons came in with their Viking-esque, barbaric ways, I decided to play Zeppelin's "The Immigrant Song" (illustrates that Viking mentality) and "The Battle of Evermore" (a ballad with references to Avalon, Arthurian elements, and LOTR, even). After trying to get them to shut up and listen, I finally gave up. They laughed at the music, laughed at Robert Plant's trademark vocals, even laughed at the lyrics. Sadness. At least some of them liked and recognized Journey. Jeez. What's the matter with me? Am I expecting too much? Maybe I'm just getting old...and most of the music keeps getting more crappy and predictable.

I hate it when other English teachers in my department correct me. Yes, I've ended several sentences here with prepositions. So sue me. Yes, I tend to use "me" as a subjective pronoun once in a while. Big deal. And who in the world thinks "I'm doing well" sounds right???? I'M GOOD, I don't know about you...We all end up laughing about it, but it is annoying, nontheless. I DARE any of them to write a critical analysis of Emily Dickenson's poetry compared to Emma Bovary's suicide notes as effectively as I did. Ha! Take that!

And most of all...I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE GENERALIZE. Biggest annoyance right now. This is the tangent that turned all my frustration into the landslide you see in this blog. I talked with someone this week who is thinking about moving away from Blairsville to a more Northern area. Nothing wrong with that. Here's what irked me: this person proceeded to explain that she wants her girls to "experience the real world" and be around culture, that "the kids here know nothing about real life." Hmmm. Just exactly what is "the real world?" And how can one lump all the kids in Union County into a pile of clueless, backwoods, naive miscreants? Last time I checked ANY community in the world deals with its own share of problems. Show me a community where kids don't bully one another. Show me a community where the kids don't harbor the racial and cultural indifference. And what the HELL is this whole comment about no culture??? The Appalachian culture is steeped in literature, art, and nuances unparalled by many! I've dealt with this attitude way too long. I have friends from high school who move away from Bville only to complain, complain, complain about how "utterly boring, backwards, and behind our town is." Well, how "utterly" tacky of them, I say. Move on. Generalizing an entire town of people into one lump sum is totally inaccurate! I love living here. However, I love visiting NYC, for instance, and I tend to like anywhere I visit. It doesn't take much to please me. I guess it goes back to that whole Emerson quote from the beginning of this post (yes, I know that seems like eons ago at this point! )...I also had a colleague (who moved here from Florida) make this ridiculous observation about the fact that kids around here drink: "Oh, it's the culture here; it promotes the drinking." She did NOT just say that! So, you mean to tell me that if I ask any teen in Blairsville why they drink, their first answer will be "Oh, well, it's the culture that promotes my silly behavior." Yesssss, that's what they'd say. Oh, and I forgot, kids in Florida and the rest of the U.S., or the world for that matter, don't drink! How utterly stupid of me to forget that!

So, there you go. You're probably thinking, "Man, she's angry!" Not really. I actually feel much better after all this. Like a clean slate. Thanks for sticking with me through all these random rantings, but, I swear, the stupid people really did me in this week. Feel free to comment. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time! ;)