BEWARE: Hot-topic controversy abounds in this post!

Shall we explore the latest frenzy surrounding author Philip Pullman and his series/trilogy His Dark Materials, which begins with The Golden Compass? (Which I might add, was published almost 11 years ago, was titled Northern Lights in Britain, and was followed by two sequels with a fourth one now on the way.)

Just as with the Harry Potter debate and the Da Vinci Code controversy, I had to explore, research, pray, READ, and make up my own mind about this one, too. As a Christian who seeks to bridge the broken gap between acute awareness and blind, dogmatic, "religious" thinking, I never accept what someone "tells" me to think about a book. How could I face myself as an instructor of literature if I acted any other way? I would be leading a life of lies and deception of myself as well as my students. Rowling, Dan Brown, Lolita, Broke Back Mountain, Dracula, Nietzsche, The Koran, Freud: yes, I've read them all, and now Pullman (gasps from the members of the Southern Baptist Association in the room: "She goes to OUR church?" they whisper). And while the Harry Potter debate seems overzealous and the Da Vinci Code dilemma offered a challenge to the Church's traditional thinking (FICTION, PEOPLE), I do feel much more concern about Pullman's series and ideas, especially put in the wrong hands of weak-minded young people. So I guess this post's main context is to promote awareness and let you, the reader, make up your OWN mind about the subject at hand.

I want everyone to notice the new link I've posted to the left under "Cool People..." for the Film Chat/Pullman Interview. I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE everyone who has questions or misgivings about this author/series to read this interview and the responses that follow. I know it's long, but it's quite interesting and sheds light on some important issues. Plus, it's a rare example of good-spirited journalism. And, while Pullman never comes out and says the point of the series is to "kill God," (per the latest SPAM email wave) he is quite adamant about his materialistic, atheistic beliefs. Beliefs, I might add, that could be quite dangerous to someone who is not strong in their faith in the first place. And, the fact that Pullman admits his background/childhood is steeped in an upbringing in the Church of England speaks VOLUMES and begs the question of what sparked his huge distaste for Christianity.

I went to check out Pullman's home page as well. I do, surprisingly, agree with one statement he makes concerning reading and the reader's responsibility for creating meaning within a text (AP kids, take note!). He says, "The democracy of reading means that as soon as a book is published you lose control of how it's interpreted anyhow, and so you should. To tell someone else how to read your book is to fall into the temptation of fundamentalism." Very true.

Finally, the following response appears as the next-to-last post at the bottom of the Pullman interview. I've copied it because it's too good to pass up, and in case most of you don't make it that far in the post. "Tiffany," I couldn't have said it better myself! My sentiments exactly, and I wish more Christians could embrace this way of thinking....

[quoting] tiffany said...

This interview was an interesting read...thanks for sharing it. As a Christ-follower, I'm concerned that some members of the Christian community have launched attacks against PP and his work - he has adamantly claimed to believe that there is no God, so how can you berate him for writing material that reflects his beliefs? How can Christians be angry with non-Christians for acting like non-Christians? I do not believe that followers of Jesus Christ should shut their eyes and ears to every idea that may contradict their own beliefs - if you are a Christ-follower, then the spirit of God lives in you and will help you discern which ideas are of God and which are not. We should be teaching the truths of God to our children so that they won't be swayed by every new idea or belief system that they encounter in life.

However, I don't believe anyone should say that someone is "deluded" for believing in God. Might I say that another person is deluded by believing there is no God? God has revealed himself through His creation to all man - however, man will not feel the need for God until God creates that need in his heart. Followers of Christ are simply those to whom the need for a Savior has been revealed. May God reveal the need for Himself to all men! If Christians will focus on spreading the light of Jesus Christ to the world, rather than tearing down those who do not know God, perhaps God will use us to make Himself known! [end quote]

Confessions of an OCD Sufferer

Well folks, it's official....

I'm crazy!

Nah, really though, I just have been clinically diagnosed with ADHD as well as moderate obsessive compulsive disorder; OCD for short, for those of you out there that don't follow the acronyms. Heck, I'm in education where practically EVERYTHING'S an acronym. Anyway, yes, I've been prescribed Zoloft (today's my 4th day): NOT for depression. I'm far from that, but Zoloft also helps with increasing seratonine levels in the brain in order to curb anxiety and its side effects. And, boy, have I been anxious and touchy lately! (Just read my last post. What a train wreck I am sometimes--jeez!)

However, I know this is a busy time of year and everyone's stressed, but I haven't done a very good job in the past half year channeling my anxieties/frustrations in the right way. Hence, my nervousness, obsessive cleaning, and yelling/crying in class. Agh. I've been afraid I'd come to this point; you know, where my obsessive, extremely order-prone personality comes crashing head-on into my extremely unpredictable day-to-day, "nothing-ever-happens- like-it's-supposed-to" career path. BAM. So maybe this 'scrip will help. It'll probably take about two weeks to be effective, though. Hmm. Too bad it can't start working before I clean my "already clean" house like mad this weekend for our family Christmas. Oh well. ;/

I've always been afraid of becoming dependent on meds (like so many people I know--people in my family, unfortunately--are), so I fought this for a while. I hate even taking Tylenol and don't EVEN try to get me to take antibiotics--unless I'm dying. As a matter of fact, a student of mine MADE THE APPOINTMENT for me w/ the family nurse practitioner I saw. I know her personally so she made me feel really good about my decision.

Anyone who knows me/interacts with me on a daily/weekly basis knows my "ticks." I pick up stuff/trash off of my floor impulsively. My room is straightened every day (desks in straight rows), I HATE it when people move my stapler, vacuuming daily is NOT an option: it's a must!, dust is consistently wiped from surfaces, I will stand in front of a framed print on the wall for minutes just getting it level, then a half hour later do it again, blah, blah; the list goes on. Some people notice more than others, and it's only in MY environments (my house, my classroom) that I become obsessive. Your house can be a wreck and it really doesn't bother me, but my house, on the other hand....I cannot work until the environment is just right. So yeah, my house does stay really clean, but that cleanliness has been coming at a high price. I've been sleeping around only four hours per night on weekdays. Granted, I'm not tired when I'm at school (just crabby :)), but when I get home (usually after working at MEC til eight or nine), then I CRASH. But then I wake up at about 11:30 and will find something to do til long after midnight. Not a good habit, so I'm trying to break it now.

Learned some really wierd things about me here, didn't ya? We all have our ways of hiding our idiosyncrasies from others. Still, I hope I've not weirded anyone out about me. What exactly is "normal," anyway????

One other really great thing came out of all this as well; several of my seniors chipped in together and got me a spa package over $100 at Serenity in the Mountains in Blue Ridge. It's reeeaaallly awesome, from what everyone that's been there has told me. What a great gift!

Hmmm, what else? Oh! AP kids: I'll save our Godiva chocolate 'til we get back in January and then we'll indulge in it. MMMMmmmmm...Chocolate...(as Homer Simpson would say!) Now, Angela; there's your other Christmas present. Stupid apostrophe!

Dakota; swell job at the talent extravaganza today! You were jolly! :p

Word of advice to everyone traveling down Murphy Hwy. here in Bville this holiday season: watch out for the Dodge Charger w/ the State Patrol driving. He WILL pull you over. I KNOW. Ughh. $66. Ask me in person and I'll tell you all about it.

In the meantime, I hope all of you out there in blogland have a super holiday...and don't forget to watch the "A Christmas Story" 24-hour marathon on TBS on Christmas Eve! Love that movie!

Blah

Perdon (SPANISH, people!!!) the mistakes before we begin; this one came fast and fervently and I had to get it out...

Ever have one of those days/weeks that just baffles you? Well, that's me right now. I'm stuck, in a rut, whatever you wanna call it. I'm just...profoundly sad. And it really just hit me last night while riding the bus back from the basketball game (I had to babysit the cheerleaders last night). I've just come to an impasse. I am so disappointed with humanity, with teaching. I've asked myself so many times in my career: "Why am I doing what I am doing?" I feel as though I am not effective any more. I know, I know: everyone has these days. But it seems that "these" days are becoming more frequent.

What does God have in store for me? Who knows. I do think, though, that every day this plan runs further away from the public school system. Forget the cliches, the NCLB bull crap, and all the bad publicity for a second. It's not that at all (I'll never jump on that bandwagon, no matter how jaded I get); it's a more philosophical issue. Imagine putting your whole heart, all your energy into what you're passionate about. Imagine really knowing your "stuff," really fervently believing in the power of what you do and teach...and then having to face kids who won't even pay attention. Working on research paper plans for 15 WEEKS and kids won't even turn in a paragraph for a conference that I set up INDIVIDUALLY with them. Talking over kids who think texting their boyfriend in another state is much more important than what you're saying. SENIORS who do not even know what a sentence fragment is. Yes kids, this is YOUR FUTURE. These are our presumably college-bound seniors I'm talking about.

It's not a matter of failing to me. If they fail, they fail. It's the intrinsic factor that gets me. WHAT are these people thinking!? ARE they thinking? No. I guess I'm such an idealist that my little bubble has finally burst. Gosh, and to think, I wanted to really classify myself as a realist. Not. So.

At this rate I'm going to be a mess of a parent--IF I even consider that. I shudder at the thought right now, because it scares me. I know how I was, and I know how much WORSE things are today. So much pressure, so many social expectations.

The beauty of this situation, though, is this: this too shall pass.

Is there any equation/job/path out there that does not involve human interaction that leads to disappointment in someone? If someone can find that path, please give me a call!